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How I came to JESUS…
First I would like to tell you how I found JESUS, or to put it another way: how JESUS found me. He carried me through ups and downs and also stood by me when I was unfaithful to Him. He is faithful and He forgives us if we turn to Him. A life with Him is so precious and I don’t regret getting involved with Him. Without him I wouldn’t even exist anymore. The second report is about my doubts and fears, which I had long before GOD spoke. I had resisted the gift of prophecy and didn’t want it. But then I realized how important it is to hear Him. We need His clear words and His guidance! We need His confirmation, otherwise we look for it in people and only look at circumstances and our soul. We need His voice not only for us, but also for others to strengthen the body of CHRIST. I pray that these stories will touch hearts and help you open more to His speaking and the gift of prophecy. But even if you have already reached out for the prophetic and are now suffering from doubts and attacks, I would like to encourage you to go further with Him. Don’t give up, because I am convinced that he who has begun a good work in you will also complete it (cf. Philippians 1:6).
I was born on October 23, 1988. I grew up in Southwest Germany (Baden-Württemberg) in a Catholic home. My parents used to go to church often and took me with them when I was a child. As I got older, however, I refused to go (I left the church a few years after my decision to follow Jesus).
Even as a child I firmly believed in GOD, but I didn’t really know much about the church. GOD was a good and loving GOD for me back then, but he seemed far away. Shaped by the Catholic faith, I often prayed only to do penance. I did not yet have a personal love affair with GOD, but I longed for it.
During puberty, this feeling of inner emptiness accumulated in me. Only later did I know that it was JESUS that I had missed. I longed for love. Even as a child I had a deep longing to get to know JESUS. I didn’t know that this was really possible. And so I tried to quench my thirst in the wrong sources. At the age of about 14 I became interested in the supernatural. My favorite program on TV was a program about mysterious events: hauntings, apparitions, superstitions and the like. I read horror story books, read horoscopes, tried dowsing, card reading and other occultism. At the same time, I was interested in esotericism and similar. I believe that GOD saved me from worse.
(All these occult/ esoteric practices were wrong and not of God. I got free from these things after my decision for Jesus.)
I didn’t realize that all this is dangerous and demonic. But anxiety attacks and depression plagued me. I got more and more suicidal thoughts. Around the end of 2003 I wondered if it was possible to really get to know JESUS personally. As already written, I had a great longing for Him as a child. And so I asked him to meet me. A short time later I had experiences with the HOLY SPIRIT that completely surprised me. He began to fill the emptiness in me. I often felt GOD’S love in my heart so strongly that I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. But in 2004 I had a relapse. The suicidal thoughts were still there and the enemy attacked me hard. In March 2004 I tried to end my life by taking an increased dose of sleeping pills. Miraculously, I survived. I would have died, but GOD wouldn’t let me!
I realized that things couldn’t go on like this. GOD should determine my life. I separated myself from all occult things, reconciled with people, experienced forgiveness, liberation and deep peace. It didn’t all happen overnight, but little by little JESUS healed me. I have decided for him and I want to serve him with my whole life. Around 2005 I started writing poetry. Only later did I realize that some of them were prophetic (without my knowing it at the time).
Another turning point in my life was autumn 2006. My hunger for GOD grew and grew. I experienced powerful encounters with Him and was baptized in the HOLY SPIRIT.
In May 2009 I was hit again hard: my uncle died unexpectedly and my father dropped dead at the funeral. That same day I said to GOD, “I don’t understand… but I still trust you.” And I heard, “Your trust will be rewarded.”
He is faithful and has always carried me through ups and downs. I love JESUS and am grateful to Him that He has forgiven me so many things. It is said: He who has been forgiven much loves much… (cf. Luke 7:47) It is my greatest desire to be His lover.
Call to the prophetic
For about seven years, from my conversion to the time I got into the prophetic, I didn’t think I could hear God’s voice. As early as 2005 I asked other Christians if they would hear Him. They confirmed to me that they perceive His speaking. I was sad and wondering what I was doing wrong as I just couldn’t seem to hear him. Only: what was the problem? What kept me from hearing Him? I had no idea how GOD spoke to His children, nor did I have any idea about prophecy. I believed some lies , among others: “Maybe GOD isn’t talking to me at all.”
A little later I read in the book of Moses (Exodus 33:12-23) how GOD met Moses and spoke to him. I realized that His voice is quiet like a whisper. Moses also recognized that GOD did not come in a loud storm, but in a light breeze. Yes, GOD can also speak to us in a moving, spectacular way, but mostly it is this “light breeze” through which we perceive His speaking: when we take our time and are not busy with other things. When I read this passage about Moses and His encounter with GOD, I suddenly felt as if GOD were speaking to me. I heard, then probably for the first time, His soft voice in my thoughts. I was so excited and wrote those words on a piece of paper. But I didn’t realize at the time that GOD wanted to speak to me like this: By speaking directly into my mind so that I can mentally hear His words. The lies that I couldn’t hear Him or that He wouldn’t speak to me at all were still too ingrained in me then.
In 2007 I started my training as a geriatric nurse. Around 2008 I heard these words in a dream or half asleep: “Perhaps your destiny is not in a retirement home. The only important thing now is that you listen a lot and read the Bible…”. The last words, “Listen and read the Bible,” repeated like an echo. I couldn’t classify that either. Today I only know that after the nursing exam in 2010 I took a completely different path, which I could not have known before. Because shortly afterwards I met my husband Tobias at a Christian conference in northern Germany.
As early as November 2010, I decided to move from southern to northern Germany. Almost everyone I knew said it would be reckless to leave everything behind without knowing what was to come. But I had a deep conviction from GOD that it was the right decision. I decided to completely realign myself with GOD during this time and began to give myself more and more for Him. It was a tough time learning to trust JESUS no matter how difficult the circumstances were. Not only did I learn to trust Him more, I also finally learned to hear His voice. Little by little I realized why I couldn’t hear GOD more clearly: I believed these lies! And I realized that I was getting pictures, dreams and things like that from him from time to time. I also noticed that in 2005 I started To write poems, some of which were probably prophetic. Surprised, but also shocked that I hadn’t recognized this earlier, I asked JESUS for forgiveness. I asked Him to give me the gift of prophecy. But GOD said to me again and again: “You have already received it…”.
I only had a real breakthrough at the end of January 2011. It was evening, I was lying on the bed and praying. Suddenly I heard GOD’S voice very clearly in my mind. He spoke a lot to me and there were some things I still couldn’t understand. He said He had great plans for me and that He had called me to be a prophetess. I found it difficult to accept all of this. And I answered Him, “But there are also false prophets… and what if I make mistakes?” But He assured me that He would help me and that mistakes are human and only our hearts count.
One night, a total loneliness and emptiness suddenly came over me. I felt that the enemy seemed to be bombarding me with bad feelings and thoughts. I was discouraged, but then I heard GOD in my mind: “I want you to prophesy. I want you to prophesy about your life. I want you to prophesy good things about your life!” I realized that I was again looking at the circumstances and at my soul – and not at JESUS. I asked GOD: “But how do I prophesy good things about myself?” And then I heard him and wrote among other things:
“Do you hear me? Listen. Write down. I’m putting words in your mouth that you don’t understand. But I also give you the wisdom to understand them. Soon. Just listen to me and write. I take away your wishful thinking and give you my thoughts. I put my words in you. I trust you. Trust me too! You are my child and I love you. I love you forever. Now listen to me, my child. Write everything down, for I am faithful and the truth. Do you trust me? Do you believe me? Do you think I’m the truth? Don’t believe the lies that the enemy tells about you or that others tell about you. Believe me! […]”
From that day on, I began to write down His words that I heard in my mind. That night I had a dream to warn me never to give up. The next few months were my training at His school. I kept hearing Him say, “You are my prophetess.” He showed me that He is the perfect teacher. Not like some teachers in the world who put pressure on their students. No, He is the perfect teacher, just as He is the perfect Father.
First of all I heard GOD in my thoughts most of the time and rarely had images. I longed to see spiritually as well. And so I asked him to open my (spiritual) eyes so that I can see more. Again He was gentle and told me to practice listening first – seeing will come too. And so it was. After a certain time I began to see a lot: pictures, visions and also spiritual happenings in the atmosphere or at a place (e.g. angels, demons, manifestations of the SPIRIT etc.). That doesn’t mean that this order applies to everyone. This was the case for me…
GOD has many ways in which He speaks to His children : One receives inspired dreams, another sees pictures and visions and yet another hears GOD in his thoughts. Some experience God’s speaking in all areas of revelation, others are “specialized” in one or a few of them.
Would you also like to get to know JESUS personally?
Perhaps you are still asking yourself: “What do I need Jesus Christ for?” You may also be wondering what the cross is all about. Therefore I would like to recommend you my video here, in which I tell more about it. In it I explain why every person needs JESUS - including you… And that it is a decision that every person has to make for themselves:
Check out the message at this link: